As with last December 30th and the December 30th the year before, I sit in my parent’s basement during a Winter Break visit.
This time, as I write to you, I feel tremendously humbled. I am humbled because this day marks the 2nd birthday of Savage Cinema and despite all of my efforts with the actual writing of each and every word upon this site, Savage Cinema would mean nothing without the continued participation and encouragement by all of you.
I am not able to stress strongly or often enough how important your presence happens to be for me. Typically, when I write and eventually post a new review, there is a tremendous amount of self-satisfaction because I gave myself a project to begin, pour over and complete and that sense of completion carries a sense of gratification inside of me that is just indescribable. As I look back over the two years and the nearly 260 postings that have occurred during that interim, I am amazed as it all feels to be the work of another individual and I do have to almost pinch myself and remind myself that all of these words came from me.
All of that being said, the little voices that always give me pangs of self-doubt keep reminding me that no one could possibly be reading anything that I have written, that no one would have the time or patience to utilize sections of their lives to devote to my ramblings and musings. I know fully well that the world has absolutely, positively, undeniably no need whatsoever for yet another person professing their opinions over anything artistic, let alone the movies. I will never make a dime from this experience, therefore disappointing my Mother who feels that I should somehow turn this site into a lucrative enterprise. And frankly, who cares what I think anyway?
Yes, I do often feel that I am writing inside of a vacuum to which no one else exists and to that end, I have reconciled myself to the idea that I am fulfilling an emotional and artistic need to please myself and prove that I can indeed write something…anything…that speaks to a piece of my soul that has remained as passionate as it was when I was a child of eight years old and saw “Star Wars” on opening night back in 1977, an event which monumentally altered the course of my life. In every review I write, I hope to capture that sense of passionate, almost “out of body” enthusiasm I had when I sat in that movie theater so long ago, mouth complete agape at the sight of an Imperial Star Destroyer engulfing the movie screen. I wish to somehow express the love for the artistry of the movies I have held for so much of my life in an entertaining way, a hopefully intelligent, articulate, artful way as well. Each review is indeed yet another writing exercise of course, but as I just described in my review of “Pearl Jam Twenty,” each review is the act of me, the eternal cinematic fan, jumping around excitedly, telling you about an art form that means the world to me and hopefully, you can see what I see.
But…I must announce to do with as much emotional heft as you are able to gather from these written words, when I see that any of you have taken the time out of all of your extremely busy lives to read anything that I have written, that knowledge lifts my soul. I have conceived of Savage Cinema to be a place where the conversations about film and even life itself could begin here. This site is designed to be a dialogue between me and all of you and while I do feel that I am mostly speaking to myself, I am surprised again and again when someone responds to me, ultimately extending that wished for dialogue one step further. Truthfully and without hyperbole, Savage Cinema could not exist without you. If no one ever responded or cared a whit, my own sense of self-perseverance would undoubtedly only last for a finite period. You give me the strength and inspiration to continue, to keep writing, to soldier onwards and provide for you an experience that I hope is a positive one.
As the third year begins, I pledge to continue to try my absolute best to keep Savage Cinema a place you wouldn’t mind visiting once in a while. I will try my best to keep writing pieces that you feel are well written enough that you would devote your time to reading them. My gratitude is endless and my appreciation for all of you is boundless.
I am Savage Cinema. Savage Cinema is me. Happy Birthday and long may it continue. But, without YOU, it would be meaningless.
Despite the smallness of the following two words, I hope that all of you can gather the fullness of their meaning….