To paraphrase the title of a classic illustrated children's book, tonight's Academy Awards telecast was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad show. The proceedings were predictably over-long, so much so that I would gather one full hour could have been easily excised to great effect. But, aside from the painful length, it was the fact that the show felt to be so under-thought, so surprisingly sloppy and filled with so much superfluous, and at times bizarre, material from the very beginning that the show felt decidedly less like an Academy Awards program and more like those excruciating and awkwardly uncomfortable variety programs from the 1970's.
As host, Seth MacFarlane, I felt did present a wealth of charm and ease with his duties. He never seemed nervous to me but he always seemed to be aching to blow a hole in the proceedings that the ponderous nature of the Oscars will only allow to a point. Because of that, the show began with a sharp monologue which should have led into the first award of the night but for some reason led into an extremely and unfortunately lengthy (and mostly unfunny) opening section that had some intermittent funny moments (I liked "Flight" as performed by sock puppets.) but overall got the show started on the wrong foot. If you use 20 full minutes to open your show, then something has gone very wrong with the conception as far as I am concerned. Throughout the program, while MacFarlane did get off some good zingers here and there, most of what occurred fell completely flat upon its no funny face, most notably the lame "Von Trapp" gag which proceeded the arrival of Christopher Plummer to the stage. What was the point of that?
MacFarlane mentioned that tonight's broadcast would have the theme of "Music In Film." That's fine, but for a program that is designed to celebrate the art and artistry of the movies, I was just stunned with the complete lack of movie musical clips the program could have used to much more effectively celebrate music in film. What we did receive was what I felt to be one of the program's many padded sequences as live performances of selections from "Chicago," "Dreamgirls," and "Les Miserables" were performed, honoring the previous decade of movie musicals, a notably scant period for the genre. Yes, Jennifer Hudson brought the house down with a reprise of her Oscar Winning performance but even so, I could not understand why the producers just did not really bring the audience in the theater and at home to their collective feet by really celebrating the full history of the movie musical with a beautifully edited montage to make our spirits fly in song. This is not Broadway and I am not watching the Tony Awards! I'm watching the Academy Awards and we should be celebrating film, not wondering if Catherine Zeta-Jones is lip syncing to a song she hasn't even sung in 10 years. And again, it was all just padding.
And then there were those other strange decisions like having the live orchestra perform down the street from a studio. Are times so tough for Oscar that he cannot afford an orchestra pit anymore? How about the Best Song nominees which alternated between a live performance from Adele (whose huge voice was somehow drowned out by the orchestra), film clips for nominated songs and then back to a live performance from Norah Jones. It was as if the producers could not make a decision with which way they wanted to showcase the nominees this year so they just decided to use every idea they had.
The "In Memoriam" section, always awkward due to its popularity contest style of audience applause and recognition of those dearly departed began and was executed in a classier way this time around as applause was kept to an absolute minimum. And again, just at the point the section was at its natural conclusion, it continues onwards with a Barbara Streisand performance that felt to be entirely shoe-horned into the telecast.
Just as the show was reaching its breaking point, I was so happy that the producers decided to not have previous Best Actor/Actress winners stand on stage and address the current nominees as that would have added another 50 minutes to an already interminable program. But, the arrival of First Lady Michelle Obama was another jaw dropper and not in a good way. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against our incredible First Lady, but her presence upon the Academy Awards was just so head scratching, so unnecessary and you know it will just prove to be fodder for those on the Right who just want something else to complain about as they will undoubtedly proclaim that she was indoctrinating viewers to support the arts. Even so, I could not fathom why having Jack Nicholson read and announce the winner was deemed to be not good enough so they just added more and more when it was just not needed. To add insult to injury, MacFarlane performed yet another oh-so-clever yet unfunny song over the ending credits and I have to say that I honestly felt sorry for those in the theater audience because I could easily turn the TV off and go about my business while they were forced to sit there and endure it...like hostages.
As for my predictions and the awards themselves, well...like I said, I am fair at best with my cinematic award show clairvoyance abilities. But I did get some correct. I correctly picked "Argo" as being the big winner of the evening in regards to Best Picture. While I did think it was yet another strong effort from Ben Affleck the Director, it was not a film that I thought represented the movie year of 2012 at its best. That said, I am proud of him and I felt this win completely vindicated his talents. This win was a victory lap for him and I virtually congratulate him.
Overall, I was pleased with the winners, most especially the wins by Christoph Waltz, Ang Lee, composer Mychael Danna and Quentin Tarantino as they were so richly deserved. But, I have to say it. I just do and I make no apologies for it. With the disastrous "Brave" winning the Best Animated Feature category, Pixar has now officially become the Meryl Streep of animation studios as they will now be nominated or anointed with awards whether they deserve them or not. And I'm sorry, "Brave" is the sharpest drop in quality during an unfortunate creative decline for Pixar. I would hate for them to receive awards and recognition just for being Pixar. They need to earn the notoriety and as far as I am concerned, they have quite a ways to go before they re-establish their former glory.
And now, another Oscar telecast has been mercifully put to bed...a place to which I shall soon retire for the night. But, man, if I could get my hands upon that telecast, I really think that I could streamline it and just make it more fun, more celebratory, and move a lot faster. but no one is asking for my ideas anyway and I'll watch next year regardless.
But, just one last thing and this goes out to Kristen Stewart. If you don't want to be there, then don't show up!!! Believe me, no one will miss you, your nasty scowl and your improper attitude that seemed to show you off to a billion viewers not as a Hollywood actress presenting an Oscar award but as a petulant teenager whose Mother dragged her to a formal event. Didn't yo mama teach you nuthin'?!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment