Based upon characters and situations created by Michael Crichton
Screenplay Written by Derek Connolly & Colin Trevorrow
Directed by J.A. Bayona
* (one star)
RATED PG 13
Steven Spielberg's original "Jurassic Park" (1993) is beginning to look more and more like Orson Welles' "Citizen Kane" (1941), with each passing new installment of this increasingly stupefying series.
Dear readers, I have to say that I have never really been that enamored with the "Jurassic Park" series. Yes, the original film was certainly a visual milestone and an event experience that only someone on the level of Steven Spielberg could deliver. But even as thrilling and as entertaining as it was (and remains), I was a tad underwhelmed due to two elements: my lifelong lack of interest in dinosaurs as they have never effectively captured my imagination and even moreso, the paper thin quality of the human characters. I do realize that the dinosaurs are the true stars of these films but even so, how much stomping and chomping does one need to see?
Obviously, I am in the minority, as now we have the arrival of Director J.A. Bayona's "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom," the fifth installment--itself the middle chapter of a proposed trilogy, which are sequels or something to the first three films, oh I just cannot follow it--in this series and good Lord, somehow, someway, they have made yet another dynamic, bombastic visual feast that is preposterously dumber than the previous installments, including the Director Colin Trevorrow's downright and numbingly awful "Jurassic World" (2015).
Despite some well executed set pieces and action sequences and of course, the seamless special effects, "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" is an inexcusably boneheaded and sloppily conceived film so terrible that I am at the point where I will have to begin to root for the dinosaurs to ravenously devour us so as to stop any filmmakers from making another painfully stupid chapter.
Picking up three years after the events of "Jurassic World," our latest episode again stars Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard (this time, sans high heels) as Owen Grady and Claire Dearing, former Velociraptor handler and Operations Manager for the now destroyed Jurassic World theme park.
As the island of Isla Nublar's remaining dinosaur population faces new extinction due to volcano eruptions, Claire, now a dinosaur rights activist (?!) and founder of the Dinosaur Protection Group (?!?!), is rapidly convinced by the wealthy Benjamin Lockwood (James Cromwell), himself the former business partner of the original Jurassic Park's creator John Hammond, and his unsurprisingly duplicitous aide Eli Mills (Rafe Spall), to return to the island to rescue all of the dinosaurs and release them to live freely in a new private sanctuary. And to do so, of course, she would have to enlist the aid of Owen to retrieve the personally trained and raised Blue, the last surviving Velociraptor.
And so, about less than three seconds after you've figured out that Claire and Owen have been duped (which is incidentally about an hour before the characters have figured out the very same thing), our heroes have returned to the island thus beginning the latest feeding frenzy which stretches from the ashes of Jurassic World to Benjamin Lockwood's massive isolated compound ,all the while and once again ignoring the prophetic warnings from this entire series' smartest character Dr Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum in a cameo appearance) in order to justify one more overlong and and painfully under-thought entry in a series that truly needs to go the way of the dinosaur.
Look, even for fans of this series, I just have to believe that even this installment just had to be more than enough as J.A. Bayona's "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" truly adds nothing new and is just drowning in an ocean of sheer stupidity and a profound lack of inspiration regardless of how terrific the special effects continue to be. Yes indeed, I did like the sequence with the erupting volcanoes and our human and dinosaur characters racing away from the lava filled fireball fallout but beyond that and overall, the suspension of disbelief I was asked to undertake was just too much for the filmmakers to ask of me, and even moreso, I ask a gain, is it just too much to have any intelligent characters to populate this series?
Oh where do I even begin? OK...first of all there is the entire premise of this thing, which again is one of the cardinal sins of the "Jurassic Park" film series: How and why is it possible that these films, which are direct sequels to each other, somehow operate as if they have no knowledge whatsoever of what has happened in previous installments...even though we in the audience are given more than enough signposts to the contrary?
Case in point: If the general public within this series is now fully aware of the events that occurred at both Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, why would anyone ever wish to return to the island, let alone any of the main characters? Of course, if they did not, there would not be a movie but aside from that, what is the motivation to go back again? To that end, WHY for the love of Mike is Claire now a dinosaur rights activist?! Why are there dinosaur rights advocacy groups? There is not one conceivable notion, piece of information or stitch of character motivation that would even allow me to buy this part of this specific fantasy and frankly, it was downright laughable.
Even worse is the brevity at which our dispassionately underwritten heroes do indeed return to the island. It was as if the filmmakers themselves did not care a whit about how it would happen but just so that they get there so we can again see the stars of the movie do that thing they do: eat stupid people doing stupid things solely to find themselves getting eaten.
As with the previous two episodes in this series especially, "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" offers no real sense of suspense, terror, awe or anything remotely visceral regarding all of the predicaments these characters find themselves entangled with, so of course, the entire proceedings unfold as a loud, bombastic, belligerent bore.
Once again, would it really kill the filmmakers to make that valiant attempt to apply themselves and create characters, situations and dialogue that showcased even a modicum of intelligence, therefore making the fight for human survival something to give a damn about?! Nope! It's just the same prehistoric same prehistoric. Characters roam unprotected in environments where the most vicious dinosaurs are hiding. Greedy businessmen and foolhardy mercenaries continue to think that they are able to tame and control what has ravenously shown an inability of being controlled--over four previous films, no less!
Not even a preposterous and nearly random seeming late film plot twist which itself leads to a faux "dark" yet undeniably credibility shattering climax thus setting up yet another potentially apocalyptic chapter can save this mess. People scream, they get themselves chomped and again, I yawned and shifted in my seat with an incredulity and gradually incensed temperament that I am again wasting precious time in my life watching another glistening piece of cinematic trash. Yes trash because if the filmmakers treat their own work as disposable, then why should I hold it up to any higher esteem?
With that, I feel compelled to express my utter distaste of the character of Franklin, a hacker, as portrayed by Justice Smith. Aside from being as underwritten as all of the film's characters, it more than disturbed me to see this young African-American male being served to mass audiences as the most fearful of all of the film's characters, heroes and villains alike. Yes, I get it. He is the tech geek thrust into an impossible situation and he would be scared. Sure. But a little of, "Was that a T-Rex?" goes a long way, especially when his constant screaming is literally pitched at a higher frequency than even Bryce Dallas Howard's.
Whether by accident or design on the part of the filmmakers, it was a presentation that was emasculating and even mildly racist to regard, as I felt witness to yet another stereotypical depiction of an ancient cinematic trope regarding the presentation of Black people, a shameful sight in a year in which we have already been given several rich and complex explorations of Black people and therefore, Black excellence in films like Ryan Coogler's "Black Panther," Ava DuVernay's "A Wrinkle In Time," Boots Riley's "Sorry To Bother You" and Spike Lee's "BlacKKKlansman." Yes, it is great to see a young, Black male computer genius/Scientist but it is all profoundly undercut when he is the sole character in the film who is used as comic relief while being a Screaming Mimi throughout. Just disheartening, to say the least.
Dear readers, I elicit the deepest of exhausted sighs. I wish for you to understand that I am not expecting something from the "Jurassic Park" series that it does not need to deliver, so to speak. I am not wishing for them to be things that they are not. I wish for them to be the finest of popcorn entertainment but of course, as we are still able to witness, from films like the aforementioned "Black Panther," plus Joe and Anthony Russo's "Avengers: Infinity War," Ron Howard's "Solo: A Star Wars Story" and most certainly, Christopher McQuarrie's "Mission:Impossible-Fallout," popcorn movies do not need to be artless and forgettable while they entertain. At their very finest, popcorn movies can still be examples of the reasons we all even go to the movies in the first place.
That is what makes "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" such a resounding failure as well as existing as a perfect example of its own title. A dumb, lumbering beast of a movie crashing and bellowing its way in and out of multi-plexes nationwide leaving absolutely nothing of value in the rubble of everything laid to waste.
J.A. Bayona's "Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" is easily one of 2018's worst films.
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